Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and its characters don't belong to me. The characters mentioned all belong to J. Michael Straczynski.
by Christine Anderson
aka Anla'shok Ivanova
Written for the Theatrical Muse 'wish' challenge.
It has been said that you should be careful what you wish for, lest you get it.
Once I wished I could meet and speak with Wierden, the mage who formed the Circle, created the Code. The ancient one who first showed the technomages that they could do good, that they could build instead of destroy.
I admired her when I was young, when I still believed the stories taught to all apprentices, the noble history of the technomages, who had risen from chaos and gained control, the ability to create beauty, maintain order...
My last illusions were shattered when I met her. On Z'ha'dum, serving at the heart of the Shadows' greatest and most terrible machine. I faced that last terrible truth of my order and felt little- all I had cared for, I had lost, then. The Circle had lied- Elric had lied- and the only ones who had ever told me the truth, I thought then, were those I hated, those I would never trust.
I did not understand then that it is possible for a person to lie about some things, but not about all things.
Before I remembered what I had forced myself to forget- before I allowed the memories of my parents to surface- I wished to see them one more time. That wish, too, came to me, when I relived the memory. The day Elric died, I remembered- who and what my mother and my father had been. As I felt Elric slipping away from me, as I accepted the truths I had hidden from, I realized I did not want to see them again.
Those I would wish to speak with again, I know that I never will. Elric, Isabelle, Carvin, Gowen, Blaylock, Burell, Fa...
Lost and gone, now, all of them.